Home
What is home?
It is a cliche question, but what I think is exciting about the question is the various answers everybody has for themselves.
For some, it may be a street name they grew up in, or warm chocolate chip cookies waiting in the kitchen.
For some, it may be a cold, fearful place where they had to witness gruesome fights between parents.
For some, it may be a country house, veggies growing in the yard, fresh flowers on the dining table.
I could go on, but what I noticed for myself is that I tend to associate the concept of it with a place, smell, food, colors. For example, when I close my eyes, I see the sea, I know I am thinking about Istanbul instantly. Blue water, white wine colored sun, warmth, grilled food.
But I’ve had many homes in the 32 years of my life so my sense of home was never tied to just one place.
Chicago - had beautiful riverwalk and Lake Michigan, snowy holidays. To me it was a big Midwest town that pretended to be a city.
New York City - I’ve visited this vibrant city many many times for weeks at a time, so yes, I considered it a home I never truly got to have. It had the water, culture, and liveliness I so adored. I remember feeling home there weirdly.
Grand Rapids - a small town in Michigan, but what comes to mind first is my favorite brunch place Cheri Inn and my time with my husband on those Saturdays. Daily specials we’d get excited about at the diner. A long walk we’d take around the neighborhood. Chilly winters and cozy snuggles at home with our cats.
But the real problem is, out of all the places I traveled to and lived in, I never felt I belonged to any of them. This was an interesting revelation to myself because it led me to think more about what home was.
Why didn’t I consider any of these places home? What was wrong with me?
Maybe there’s not a right answer to this for everyone, but the answer I found out for myself is that home is me.
Home is what I make of myself. Discovering myself and being at peace with myself during the process. Then it becomes easier to belong to anywhere I want. Then I have an awareness of my wholeness and connectedness with everything else in the universe.
So, I’d invite you to answer this for yourself, too. What is home to you?
Until next time…
I like this writing. Home is a place for the body and soul to rest, release fatigue, gather strength, share love, create plans, remember stories, even as a strength to maintain comfort and self-security.
Home can be an abstract concept. I think home is where we feel safe, secure, and free to be ourselves. Old memories, smells, and sights can trigger nostalgic feelings of 'home', but is there a difference between home and nostalgia? I get nostalgia for the places I've once called home, but they don't always feel exactly like home anymore. My hometown still evokes a hominess and nostalgia for my upbringing, but it is not a place where I fit in anymore by any means; it's no longer a place I feel my current self, but a place I feel more of my former self. Since we change so much, perhaps we have many homes for all of our previous versions, and maybe that's ok. Or perhaps we confuse nostalgia for home and home does not need to be tied to a geographic location.